So yet again I have found something to share, this is not the first time I have read these but I felt it necessary to share them.

After men everywhere felt the need to create “Man Laws” I do believe it was only a matter of time until women reciprocated with “Woman Laws”

I would like to note, that I did not write these but I do find them clever and fun. Please enjoy them!

The Woman Laws

1.) Thou shall never bow down to a man or refer to him as “master.”

2.) Women may not drive on a date.

3.) Thou shall always have chocolate available for any unforeseen crisis.

4.) Ben and Jerry should always be on call in case of a bad day.

5.) Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean they are committed.

6.) Cosmo = must read.

7.) Bad breath = no tongue.

8.) Thou shall own at least one article of pink clothing.

9.) Glitter, sequins, and rhinestones are fine in moderation.

10.) Thou shall do hair and apply makeup at least once a week.

11.) A hoodie, sweatpants, and pony-tail are completely acceptable, just don’t forget rule #10.

12.) You should not have to open your door on the first date.

13.) Honesty is the best policy when your friend is trying on clothes, just be nice.

14.) Confidence is sexy.

15.) If you see cheek or crack, your skirt is no longer a skirt, it is a belt.

16.) Thou shall give fair warning when PMS-ing.

17.) Singing in your car is completely acceptable.

18.) Women shall always have the last word in an argument. If a man proceeds to speak after woman has the last word, he then starts a new argument.

19.) Thou shall not date a man 15 or more years older.

20.) There’s no such thing as over-packing, just preparation.

21.) If a man is overly competitive, let him win occasionally, but don’t be afraid to beat him.

22.) Let them pursue you, don’t pursue them.

23.) Know your limit when drinking alcohol. Vomit is not sexy.

24.) Women shall not chew tobacco.

25.) When drunk, if the situation arises, go to his house, it’s less complicated that way.

26.) Never lower your standards or compromise yourself to please others.

27.) Always have a spare tampon.

28.) Bigger is not always better.

29.) Shopping is always better in Pairs.

30.) If a guy wears girl pants, he is not of dating or relationship material.

31.) Always go to the bathroom in pairs (assumed woman law).

32.) As a woman, thou shall point out if another female’s zipper is down, has toilet paper on shoe, something in teeth, etc..

33.) No car/working car = no date.

34.) What happens on girls night, stays on girls night.

35.) It IS your obligation as a woman to decorate and redecorate as you see fit.

36.) Thou must not break plans with the girls in order to go out with a guy.

37.) If a woman dates a man who is “not up to par,” she may take a Mulligan and therefore “it never happened.”

38.) The “emergency phone call” is completely acceptable to prevent any further boredom.

39.) The woman who approaches a group of guys gets the first pick.

40.) Chicks before dicks. Guys come and go but best friends only come around once in a lifetime.

41.) You should not date a man who takes longer to get ready than you do.

42.) If you come together, you leave together, unless you or your friend is going home with an extremely hot, non-creepy guy.

43.) Thou shall not call a guy first, unless he calls you first and you are returning the call for some reason.

44.) Always make the guy make the first move, he should work for your attention.

45.) Women do not date a friend’s ex-boyfriend. Period.

46.) Man’s mothers are key. How they treat their mother is how they’ll treat you.

47.) No woman shall be “friends with benefits” to any ex-boyfriend.

48.) If a man appears sexy, caring, and smart, give him a few days, he’ll be back to his usual self, so don’t fall for it.

49.) Men play the game, women know the score.

50.) Don’t think you can change a man, unless he’s wearing diapers.

51.) No excuses, play like a champion.

52.) If a woman doesn’t remember it, it never happened.

53.) Never let a man come between you and a friend.

54.) It is ok to make a sandwich for a man if 1) he says please 2) you are already in the kitchen and are not going out of your way & 3) there is something in it for you.

55.) No guy is worth your tears and the one who is won’t make you cry.

56.) Crack kills and is not sexy whatsoever.

57.) Short shorts must be worn appropriately. Preferably summer time. Winter time is unnecessary, unless participating in a sporting event that demands short shorts. Popping of collar is allowed as long as you wear it accordingly.

58.) When your friend picks up a hot guy…however the hot guy has an ugly friend…it is only right that you get rid of hi, or distract him from the main attraction. As women we are obligated to sacrifice yourself for friends and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repaid.

59.) No woman should purposely let her thong hang out to attract attention. Other women have the right to stare and give nasty looks if you tend to break this law.

60.) If two or more girls arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving female is hooking up with a guy, it is the responsibility of the female hooking up to find other ways home for her friends (The exception to this law is if the driver is hooking up with her own boyfriend, the law is then void and the driver still holds full responsibility of driving her friends home).

61.) Any man answering “Who was that on the phone?” with “Nobody” shouldn’t expect that to be the end of the conversation.

61.) A man should never let a woman walk anywhere alone after 11pm.

62.) Women may joke with each other about being skanks and whores, but men may never do so.

63.) There shall be no fat jokes between women and their friends.

64.) Condoms are the man’s responsibility. No condom, no booty.

65.) Go ahead, change the oil yourself. If you get a little on you don’t worry, some men like it dirty. And if they don’t, they don’t appreciate you for who you truely are and you should re-evaluate why you are with them in the first place.

66.) Women should in no way be subjected or forced to “Man Law”. Women have higher standards than that. Screw Man Law.

67.) No woman should ever have to put the toilet seat down. If this happens the guilty male party must put the seat down and then owes the woman an apology.

68.) A true woman should not get dressed in the morning with the purpose of obtaining or impressing a man, you should look good for youself.

69.)It is okay to be a t-shirts and jeans kind of girl (sometimes) if he really loves you he will love every part of you (but dont push it).

70.) You should be comfortable with yourself, every part, comfortable enough that you can be by yourself. If you NEED a man you will begin to do anything to obtain or keep one. You come first, a man is secondary.

71.) Once a cheater always a cheater.

72.) If a guy is carrying a “man-bag”, this is a purse and, well it’s just out of the question.

73.) It is completely okay to date a guy just for his looks and ask him to not talk at any point on the date.

74.) As a friend you are not allowed to buy the same article of clothing as your girlfriend. But, you are entitled to borrow it as many times as you would like and she insists she is not going to wear it.

75.) Men who claim they love to watch Soap Operas and Chick Flicks are lying. It is a ploy to get you to think they are sensitive and mature.

76.) If man of intrest wears capris, strappy shoes, or has been previously been gay… said man should NOT be considered boyfriend material.

77.) If said man comits an act of man, women should deem this act as “TYPICAL.”
ex: If said man cheated on his girlfriend one should classify said man as “TYPICAL.”

78.) If woman can’t get her way, act cute and give him your cutest innocent look & said man will do whatever you want.

Remember, these are just for fun and entertainment purposes only. They do not (to my knowledge) hold any merit.

Also, I promise I will write a real blog soon, I have lots of things to say, just trying to get it all straight!

[sC]