Family Wedding.
For some people, a family wedding is boring, bland and uneventful. If it is my family expect the exact opposite.

My mom comes from a family of 16 children (some who have passed) and let me tell you, EVERY TIME we all (or most) of us get together it is not boring, bland or uneventful. Mostly because if you get 35+ people together in one vicinity who don’t get to see each other often, much less family that doesn’t get to see each other very often, you are in for a treat.

My cousin (huge rock..2 ct diamond-that was just the engagement ring-the wedding band(s) consist of a band of diamonds on either side of the engagement ring..damn that thing sparkles) got married last night. It was a ’small’ wedding. I say small, because it was as small as you can get with both the bride and the groom coming from a family where a parent had 16 siblings. It was a nice ceremony and it was quick (this is important…15 minutes..TOPS). I sat next to my family and my Uncle and due to the fact that I RARELY see him, we chatted for a bit before the ceremony.

He was very excited to come to the wedding because he knew I would be there and ready to party with him. I informed him I quit drinking and he promptly shook his head in disbelief (I then told him of the recent ER visit..and he called me weak and lame).

Fast forward to after the ceremony during the cocktail hour. All of my uncles and some aunts kept coming up to me asking me where my beer was, my dad even delivered a beer to me (and I didn’t even have to ask him). I simply handed it to my sister’s fiance and kept drinking water.

After awhile, my mom just said she would feel much better if I had something to drink and I said no, that I was not drinking. All my aunts were asking me if I had felt sick because I wasn’t drinking (apparently they are under the impression I am a partier–they know me so well). It was a big surprise to everyone that I wasn’t drinking..they had to mock me for a long time because of it.

I think you know where this story is going.

Eventually, I caved…in a moment of weakness…I broke down. I drank.

I looked at my mom and said “I’m way to sober for all this drunkeness…I need a beer.” She replied, “It is about time, let me help you grab a couple.”

I go to the kegerator and fill not 1, not 2..but 3 cups of beer to sufficiently try to catch up. I decide 3 will be a good start. My family is pleased and excited I finally started to drink. They had been very disappointed that I wasn’t drinking because they all wanted to party with me (one uncle actually said the only reason he came was because he knew I would be there and that I would party with him..we are party pals).

I drink, and drink, and drink (and no this story isn’t going to end with me puking my guts out…). My uncle decides we need shots. This wedding is at a VERY nice hotel/resort. We hit up one of the many bars.

My uncle orders a Tequila Popper (not only had I never heard of one of these before last night, I also don’t think I want to try one. Apparently you put tequila and some other liquid in a glass…shake it up and it foams..then you drink it super fast as to not spill any) and so did a cousin of mine. Another cousin ordered a Jager Bomb. I decide this sounds good and I get one too. Cheers!

We all take said shots and chase them with our beers and head back into the reception. Where we all start to have a blast. At this point I am still SOOOOOOOOOOBERRRRRRRRRR (I never got wasted..but by the end of the night I had enough beer that I could just BARELY start to feel it) but don’t you worry…I don’t need beer to be fun, or funny…and really..neither does my family.

We start cracking jokes and being significantly louder than EVERYONE else there (people stare..we are not phased). This is not a big surprise to anyone. But if you get all that family in one room it just gets louder and louder (they dealt with trying to be heard over their siblings for their entire life..nothing has changed). I am the center of attention, and everything I say at this point is somehow very funny to everyone else.

Sometimes we had to talk slow so that my family from the south could understand (no joke, we repeated things many times because we talked to fast for them to understand…) this is always an event no matter where we are because they run on slower time.

When all was said and done, I don’t think I laughed that hard in a LONG time..everyone in my family is a comedian in their own right and that makes for ridiculous times. Seriously..the stories they tell..

But those are for another day…

[sC]