I am still living at home. So much time has now passed that spring commencement ceremonies are now in full swing..and to those grads, I say Congrats!

This not having a job thing sucks…a lot. Only one thing sucks more. Living at home.

Now, I don’t really mind living at home, I get along with my parents and my younger sister, I don’t have to pay rent or electric or cable, and I don’t have to buy groceries or pay for my cell phone..there is just one minor little detail that is becoming increasingly major!

While going to college and living away from home I did whatever I wanted whenever I wanted to do it. If I wanted to go out at 11 pm and not return home until much, much later the next day..that was fine (in fact I did that many, many times). But this whole living at home thing has put a damper on my social (and more importantly sexual) life.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I can go out and do as I please..but I just find something so incredibly wrong about going out, getting INCREDIBLY wasted and then coming home. So IF I do go out, I tend to stay at a friends house so that my parents cannot see the level of inebriation that I often get too. They know I drink it isn’t a big secret and if necessary they would come get me from wherever I need to be picked up from because they don’t want me getting into a car with someone who has been drinking.

But really, I am just gonna be honest.

There is NO WAY, I repeat-NO WAY, that I would go out and bring someone home. I am not trying to pretend I am innocent and virginal because, well that just isn’t true but I don’t discuss my sexcapades with the parentals…that is just something they don’t need to know about and there is not way I am willing to share. If it ever is brought up (generally after some drinks around the fire with family and friends) I deny, deny, deny..at all costs. It is just not necessary for them to know anything about that part of my life..mostly because they have never met a boyfriend of mine..and that would bring up another area of questioning about one-night stands (which may or may not have taken place at some point in my past sexual history) that I just don’t need to get into.

My parents aren’t stupid (and when I say parents, I mean my Mom..because she just says what is on her mind). She (my mom) knows that I am no longer a card carrying member of the V-Club…but I have never admitted it…I think she just knows…but I don’t want to admit to it..because then they have concrete evidence that I, in fact, like sex.

Which brings me back to–sexcapades.

Now, I like sex just as much..if not more than anyone I know..and that includes the guys…and I like to have it..A LOT.

I don’t know how people do it. How can anyone go to their parents house and feel comfortable having sex? I find something so incredibly wrong with that. When I finally bring a boyfriend home to meet them..there is NO WAY IN HELL I am doing it in my parents house (ok so I will but whatever). But getting it on with my boyfriend in my parents house is another realm compared to doing the horizontal mambo with someone I just met.

Talk about an awkward next morning. How the hell would I sneak a guy out of my house without my parents knowing? NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Not to mention..my room is right below my parents…I’m just gonna say it…

I am not quiet and I am not very good at being quiet when I should be…and incase you aren’t following what I am saying…THEY WOULD HEAR ME..*shudder*. Talk about embarrassing! My mom once questioned if I had hickeys (I did..gross I know) and I had never been more embarrassed in my life…there is no way that I would live through a “were you having sex last night” talk.

Needless to say, my sex life has suffered 100% since I moved back home. And let me tell you it sucks.

It is weird enough going solo at home..terrified they will hear…

I am not sure what would be worse…them catching me doing it alone or with someone.

I never want to find out.

[sC]